Participate.

"Do you always think this much, Charlie?"

"Is that bad?" I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.

"Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life."

"Is that bad?"

"Yes."

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky 

I recently reread one of my favourite books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. At this time of year it seems to resonate with me, probably because its the start of a new term and everyone is moving back to university, everything is changing. 

But this time, this notion of participating in life sat oddly with me. I've never not wanted to fight, as a teenager I was like when I'm older I'll go to protests and fight for what I believe in. And then I suddenly realised, I am older now. I'm a long way off of being a "grown up", but in my last teenage year I realised I needed to start participating more, stop letting others do all the work while I rant to my friends on Facebook.  

Last year I'd been to a Love Comes First event, created in celebration of my home community of Rotherham, despite the Sex Abuse Scandal, the far right protests, the division trying to be created. But I'd never actually been to a protest. My lecturers talked of their time at university as students protesting for what they believed in, having the passion and fight to make a change. 

On the 5th September I went to Unite Against Fascism's demonstration in Rotherham Town Centre directly opposing yet another march from Britain First. Normally I'd avoid town on those days, it didn't feel safe despite the huge police presence. But I'd had enough. I didn't want people to feel unsafe in their home, I didn't want people to come in and tear apart our community.  I didn't want Britain First to shout in our streets that Muslims are paedophiles, that they need to be deported. I didn't want to read any more posts on Facebook full of hatred and racism. 

So I stood with my community, in my home town, and listened to their impassioned speeches, watched them pray in front of a line of police officers, stood silently in memory of Mushin Ahmed, 81. 

Even though I didn't make a speech, no ones opinion changed because of me, it felt good to do something. To be there, to show I will fight with my community, that I care, that I love our town and I want it to become the happy place I grew up in again. 

I spoke to some of my friends afterwards, we wanted to do more. Our Facebook walls are full of posts shared by people who believe Britain Firsts lies, their fascist propaganda. I could write as many posts about how it wasn't true as I wanted, people just think you're stupid. Or people don't care. I've lots count of how many times people I know have asked me to stop sharing things, that seeing what's really happening out in the world is 'boring', they're 'fed up' of seeing it. 

Well guess what. I'm fed up of it happening. 

I'm not sorry if it's boring that I think its disgraceful that people don't want to help refugees. I'm not sorry if you're fed up of hearing about whats happening a few miles from your house. I am sorry that you don't care. 

Me and two other friends decided to do something. A Facebook page, an Instagram and twitter account, a blog hopefully soon (we're busy designing it!). We were inspired by a sign in Rotherham and we want to say to everyone Peace Off with hate. We're slowly getting more likes, we have a few followers, our blog is going to be up and running soon. And it might not be much, but for the minute we're doing what little we can on these global issues. Awareness is a start. 

What I want to tell people -what I guess the point in me writing this is- is to help. If you care about refugees, tell people, give money, send supplies, argue with people who think the economy is more important than human lives. If you think it's repulsive that a 14 year old Muslim boy was arrested for presenting his teachers with a homemade digital clock, mistaken to be a bomb, then don't just sit at home and let it pass you by. If you think women should be equal to men, call yourself a feminist. If you want to end homophobia try to stop it. If you care about humans then show it. 

Participate in life, don't be silent- it really does make you feel better about humankind! 

"I feel infinate".

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky 

Park Hill Art School

During May a group of first year fine art, creative art practice and architecture students from Sheffield Hallam undertook a residency at The Scottish Queen, an old pub and now a gallery space, at Park Hill, Sheffiled. 

We were left with this space to work with, in the partially refurbished Park Hill flats, one of the most iconic pieces of architecture in the area, for just over a week before our opening night. 

I wanted my work to relate to the area in some way, and so I began by exploring the flats with my camera. 

I loved the bright colours of some of the areas in constrast with the grey palette of the majority of the area. Certain parts of the older building are bright such as this, and this is something that has been brought into the refurbished flats, and that I wanted to bring into my work. 

 I also loved the layers of geometric shapes, and the complex grids and lines within the architecture. 

There was something about the statement "everything of value  has been removed from this property" printed on the doors on a lot of the empty flats. Almost the idea that the flat wasn't of any value itself. 

I started working with my small sculptures from my first year degree work, spray painting these bright colours, inspired by the colour within Park Hill. I loved the spray paint left on the newspaper I had used to spray these on and wanted to use these within my work too. 

I wanted to recreated the "everything of value has been removed from this property", using blue spray paint on a cupboard door. I intended to use this as a background for a painting, however once I removed the masking tape I liked it just as it was. 

Using the same technique as above I created the foreground from the photograph below using silver and blue spray paint. 

 I then used ink and white acrylic paint to create the background, layering and extrending the lines within the photograph. 

Leading on from the idea of using the backgrounds from spray painting, I used this plastic sheet I had previously used to spray paint a larger sculpture for another piece. I stuck this up in the window of the space, and again using ink and white acrylic, created a piece inspired by the architecture I could directly see. 

 I laid this on the floor, using this to create almost as sculptural landscape from my small spray painted pieces. 

Return to Painting

I would have always defined myself as a painter. 

What kind of art do you do? I paint people. That's me. I am fascinated by society, humans, the naked figure. But after a summer of painting nudes, very slowly, enjoying my freedom from A-levels, when I started my degree I wanted to do something completely new. 

I don't want to be defined as a painter. That was what I knew. I knew that I didn't want to paint anymore. Maybe it was because it was cold outside and I didn't want to sit in the shed I call a studio shivering as I painted, or maybe paint was just too expensive. 

So I made structures (sculptures??) from cardboard and tape, or sticks and string. They were inspired by protest structures, but almost came across as mystical tepee shapes, like the "cave" from the end of Melancholia. 

Melancholia Film Still

I loved wrapping up in my thick coat and getting covered in mud in the woods hunting for sticks. But then, the process of these sculptures almost ended. I didn't have a place to take them next. And I think that's because I didn't want to carry on making them anymore. They were inspired by resistance, by the inner activist in me, but they didn't say anything. 

And that was because I don't know what I want to say stuff about anymore. Sexism? Racism? Homophobia? The rise of the far right? Global poverty? War? Terrorism? The environment? And I realised that was what I wanted to say. 

Pencil drawing with plaster 

I want to somehow represent this confusion I feel. This mash of things in my head that I know I disagree with, but I don't know what to do about them. 

I wanted to keep part of the shapes of the original sculptures I had made, and kept the plaster material constant. But I needed to play around with how to do this. Could I mix something with the plaster to make it more attractive, or to give it a different texture? Or should I paint on top of it?

Water Mixable Oil Painting, Wooden Board with Plaster, Smashed Pot and Broken Mirror

Water Mixable Oil Painting, Wooden Board with Plaster, Smashed Pot and Broken Mirror

Water Mixable Oil Painting, Wooden Board with Plaster, Smashed Pot and Broken Mirror

 Oil Pastel and Water Mixable Oil Paint on Newspaper

I wanted to play with covering parts of the face up, pulling the newspaper from behind the face to in front of it. This obscures the face almost like the plaster did. 

 Water Mixable Oil Paint on paper with ink drawing

I then removed the writing from this, but keeping the painting almost as if unfinished. 

 Acrylic Paint, Coffee and Ink on Canvas

Acrylic Paint, Coffee and Ink on Canvas

Acrylic Paint, Coffee and Ink on Canvas

There's something about paint that's different to other materials. It seems so much more personal than sculpture to me. I love photography, film, installation, sculpture, but I love the process of painting so much more than all of the others.

I would define myself as a painter. 

Barcelona Travel Photography

 Sagrada Familia

 Park Guell

 Park Guell